To read Kelly Sweatt’s story, please click this link to access the PDF file. You can leave comments for her story below.
Kelly’s Story – “Silent No More”
Surviving Therapist Abuse
Resources and Support for Healing
Dear Kelly. I have no words to describe how brave you are to go through all this and yet to be able to describe it in details with us. I appreciate your sharing so much. The person who calls herself a therapist, is a classic narcissist woman, as you already know. Surround yourself with people who you trusted over the years and who over time show you over and over again and they care about you and want to see you happy FOR YOU and not for their own glory. Take good care of yourself and believe me there is a true love out there and it is not narcissistic.
Thank you AO for leaving a comment. As this is the first comment I’ve gotten, it’s amazing how relieved I am that you saw what happened and gave it a name (negative at that). It’s been almost two years and the trauma over what happened still hurts….although thankfully it has lessened. Thank you again for your response.
Hi there Kelly. I just wanted to say that I think AO hit the nail on the head by identifying this therapist as a Narcissist. It took me almost a full year after I refused to see the therapist who emotionally abused me to even discover that what I had been through had a name. The subsequent therapist I had finally gotten up the courage after the abusive one was not the person who helped me learn what a pathological Narcissist was. I found this term and many others (trauma bonding, gaslighting, predatory grooming, soul murder) on my own as I searched day and night for something to explain what the heck I had been through. I was replaying everything that happened virtually every minute of every day trying to make sense of it. It was truly frightening just how much I continued to self destruct after I removed this toxic person from my life.
One book in particular, “Stalking the Soul: Emotional Abuse and the Erosion of Identity” was particularly important with opening my eyes to what had really occurred. Perhaps it could be helpful to you too. I also have a survivors’ forum on facebook called “Narcissistic Victim Syndrome-Hope For Victims And Survivors”. On it I try to get as much accurate information as possible to help other survivors find the currently hidden path to healing.
One website that was instrumental to my own healing was created by a psychotherapist in Ireland named Christine Louis de Canonville and it can be found at NarcissisticBehavior dot net (I don’t think it’s possible to put links in these messages so I am trying to make it easier to find) One particular article there- Narcissistic Victim Syndrome: What the Heck Is It- is a must read. Christine has devoted so much of her life to trying to help survivors of this type of abuse find the currently hidden path to healing from it. She is incredibly knowledgeable with this subject.
Thank you for having the courage and strength to speak out Kelly. That shows just how strong you really are!
Michelle Mallon, MSW, LSW
I also wanted to say that I too know the deep pain and feelings of loss that accompany being cut off from a therapy group when you terminate therapy with a toxic therapist. I tried to warn the other group members about what was going on after I discovered that the therapist was not who he pretended to be. However, once you are “cut off” from the group, you have no idea what is being said to the group members. I quickly lost touch with all of them (and these were people I had come to trust, respect and care deeply about for almost a year!) Losing them was probably the hardest part of what I went through. I lost the therapist I thought I could trust and had cared deeply about for quite some time AND all of the group members who were a part of a therapy group he convinced me I should become a part of all in one fell swoop! It was absolutely heartbreaking. Even though it was years ago, in some ways it still feels like it was a recent loss.
I can also definitely relate to the the feelings of being like a puppet on a strong in those group sessions. In fact, your identifying it as a “cult” is incredibly accurate in my situation as well. At the time you are going through something like this you don’t think a human being could be so destructive for their own amusement. I think it’s what prevented me from seeing what was really going on for so long- I just couldn’t believe that a person would do such a thing.
I have found the whole group therapy dynamics to be an additional painful part of the process of healing. Not only are you made to feel responsible for the well being of group members while you are in the group, when you leave you can’t help but worry about what will happen to them.
I still worry about the group members even to this day. I only wish they knew what I knew about this person.
Thank you so much for sharing your story Kelly!
Michelle Mallon
Michelle,
Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences with me and to offer the name of that book, facebook page and website. I will definitely be reading up more on the terms you have suggested. It’s scary to think there are people out there so manipulative but even scarier to think they are in positions of authority.
You said that being “cut off” from the group was one of the hardest parts to go though. Boy, that is so true. After leaving the therapist I felt like I had to re-enter life on the outside and it felt so foreign and unknown. I had to learn how to interact with others. Making new friends is something I haven’t ventured to do yet, but I am at least thinking about it.
Having to leave the group but not the love you have for each and every member was difficult. I still wonder today how they are doing and functioning under her care. Thank you for your comments Michelle. I can not tell you how healing they are. I was told in the past how the therapist was saying negative things about my leaving so to hear others speak truth about the therapist is reassuring and comforting….and makes me feel not so alone out here.
Kelly,
You know, as I read your reply, I am beginning to realize how much I may have underestimated the impact losing all of those group members has had on my ability to completely heal. In almost every way, I feel incredibly strong and very much healed from the therapist abuse. However, I still to this very day struggle with the group members I lost. I don’t think it has really hit me until now that healing from the abandonment of the group members is a healing process in and of itself. I can’t tell you how comforting it is to hear someone else who has been through this unique loss after therapist abuse say that it was painful for them too. Maybe in some ways I can allow myself to fully grieve them all now….
Big hugs to you, Kelly!
Michelle
Kelly, so sorry you went through all that. I agree with AO and Michelle, I believe she was/is a Narcissist. Not only was she unprofessional & unethical, but just as a human being she was mean cruel. I’m glad you are out of it now & with a counselor you feel you can trust! Hang in there & never give up hope!
Mags